Do you think that this sort of thing is happening more often now or is it just being publicized in the media more now? If it is happening more, is it partially because of the rear facing seats? I mean parents have been sleep deprived and distracted since the beginning of time and they seemed to manage okay.
Maybe we should go back to no car seats. When the car made a sudden stop or took a corner quickly, you just fell out of the seat onto the floor and remained there until someone put you back on the seat. You can’t forget about a baby rolling around on the floor of the car. Just kidding of course…. but it’s true….
The articles I have read clearly indicate higher incidences when car seats were moved from the front seats to the backseats and made rear facing.
NS: “There are mistakes, and there are imperfections, but leaving your kid in a hot car is like being a skydiver and forgetting to put on your parachute before you jump out of the airplane.”
No, it’s more like packing your parachute incorrectly – which is something that actually does happen in real life too.
Capt. Obvious:”I’m not saying I’m perfect. When I am in the process of getting in my car, there are certain “checks” I do EVERY TIME. Also, I know my destination, my purpose for going, and how to get there…and certainly if there was a human in my car.”
And you are also saying that you could never ever make a mistake in that routine, ever. Which is saying you are perfect.
Which you are not.
You are trying very hard to be responsible and care for your kid’s welfare, and that’s great. It’s what you are supposed to be doing. But you cannot be certain without a shadow of a doubt that you won’t ever screw that up. Nobody can say that.
“So at not point in 6 hours of work, the walk back to the car, the opening of the car, the drive to the daycare did she notice a human being in her car! ”
She was probably working during work, not in her car. When she got to the car, it’s not the least bit inconceivable that she wouldn’t look inside a rear-facing baby carrier that probably had a shade over it and notice the baby.
I can’t believe the amount of defending for the parent versus advocating for the child that is going on in this forum. I see both sides, but ultimately as people we should advocate for those who cannot speak for themselves.
@meowkitty, What sort of advocacy do you have in mind? Preventative, legal, medical, etc? This is a very complicated issue, and I (seriously) want to understand your viewpoints, etc.
I think I explained my viewpoint already. I’m just astonished at the lengths people are going to defend the mother, and some seem to care more about what will happen to her, than what did happen with the baby. I guess I’m just more focused on the fact that a child died and believe that is the great injustice, and not on how the mother is a victim.
Yet a nother article defending irresponsible parents saying anyone coudl have done it. Curious, she forgot the first leg of her trip, daycare, after having put the kid into the car. Was this a minivan with tall seats blocking views vs say a honda civic? Is a civic so big it’s hard to forget your own child in it? I wouldn’t even make mistakes for a minivan or an SUV. They aren’t that big. It’s not like we are talking charter busses or 747s here. Even “large” cars are relatively small.
@sansa, I’m not saying I won’t screw other things up, like getting in an accident. When I have my kids in the car, I purposely don’t allow distractions to distract me. For instance, if my phone rings, I only answer it if its my wife and that conversation is usually 1 minute long at most and 99.9% of the time is about the kids. If another “important” call comes in, I’ll let it go to voicemail. Voicemail is a fascinating thing, so is Caller ID. Also, sometimes my kids are sleeping and I won’t answer the phone because I don’t want to wake them up. Additionally, I purposely don’t make extra trips with the kids in the car. If there is something I need to take care of, I do it before I pick them up.
I just don’t believe the notion that it can happen to anyone…if it did, there would be more occurrences of this. From the old article, it seems its happening to people who let distractions run their lives at that moment and don’t know how to juggle multiple things at once. I’ve just conditioned myself into thinking that no task or phone call is more important than the well-being of the child in the back of my car. Phone calls can wait or I’ll just have to be 5-10 min late for an appointment.
Capt. Obvious said: “if my phone rings, I only answer it if its my wife and that conversation is usually 1 minute long”
So that’s one minute of distraction.
“I just don’t believe the notion that it can happen to anyone…if it did, there would be more occurrences of this.”
The fact that it doesn’t happen very often doesn’t mean it can’t happen to anyone. The odds are very low, yes, but that doesn’t mean they are lower for you than anyone else.
And not everyone is as capable of handling distraction as others are. And some people may have more distractions, like a single mom with several young kids perhaps, and sleep deprivation is a huge factor in reducing the ability to concentrate.
Sure, you work hard to minimize distraction. And perhaps that makes the odds for you lower than for others. All I want you to do is admit that the odds of it happening to you are more than zero. And that if it does happen to someone else, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are a lazy, irresponsible, evil uncaring parent either.
NS: “Yet a nother article defending irresponsible parents saying anyone coudl have done it.”
Get off your high horse, Steve. You’re not perfect either.
Meowkitty meowed: “I can’t believe the amount of defending for the parent versus advocating for the child that is going on in this forum.”
It’s you who views this as either-or, not me. To defend the parent is not to care nothing for the child.
In fact, as I’ve said, and as today’s WashPo column says, those who refuse to admit that this could happen to them are less likely to take steps to make sure it doesn’t. And saying that is advocating for the child.
I actually did not say it was exact either/or – and in my posts I’ve been saying that I see both sides (I said that specifically directly after the statement of mine sansabelt quoted, but that part was left out), but some posts in here have been focused mostly on the mother as the victim and that shocked me. Some posts seem to be fighting tooth and nail to try and defend the mother against people who are more focused on and more concerned about the baby’s death.
I did not call anyone specific out, I haven’t quoted anyone, I haven’t directly gone at anyone – all I’ve done is express my surprise at the tone and content of this forum.
Sansa: I never let my kid die in a car before. Of course i”m not perfect, but it’s hard to compare the worst thing I have ever done with KILLING MY OWN CHILD BECAUSE I AM WOEFULLY INCOMPETENT.
and that’s only 1 distraction, not many. Once the call is over, I continue on my way. Whether I am on pick-up or drop-off duty at daycare, its out of the way from home and work, so I would know immediately if I was going the wrong way. Personally, I have a way of compartmentalizing the priorities/distractions in my head.
And I’m not admitting anything because I don’t believe it. And I don’t think the parents this happens to are uncaring or evil, but in my opinion, they are irresponsible because they can’t handle the distractions in their lives. If you can’t handle it, don’t answer the phone or pick up the drycleaning later, etc.
“Those who refuse to admit that this could happen to them are less likely to take steps to make sure it doesn’t”…what horse-bleep. We already implement many steps to ensure it doesn’t happen, many of which I’ve already listed. Fear is another one. Fear can drive you to be over-prepared, if there is such a thing in this instance.
sansa, are you a parent, by the way ?
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.