So it all started when I had killed my 9th Hard Times Lager (HTL) at Hard Times and decided to call it a night. I was walking home and was stopped by a cute girl asking if a car in the middle of the street stopped on a green light was mine. I told her it was not. Apparently there was a girl passed out in the driver's seat. The girl that stopped me was pretty sure she was passed out from drinking and she told me she had already called the cops. As I began directing traffic around the car, I noticed she regained consciousness and began to drive through the intersection on a red light. Opposing traffic that now had the green light were honking at her. I ran alongside the girl's car while stopping traffic and began knocking on her window. At this point she was half up on the curb. She rolled her window down and I told her she needed to stop driving. She was so drunk, I'm not quite sure she understood anything I was saying. I realized that the conversation was going nowhere so I reached in the car, put it in park, and took the keys out of the ignition. Just then about 8 Arlington PD cruisers rolled up because it was Wednesday night and they were all very bored. So here I am, blitzed drunk, writing a statement for the police after stopping a drunk driver. Ironic? I thought so. By the looks of my bloodshot eyes, loquacious and jovial demeanor, and my mad-scientist hair, I'm quite sure they knew I had consumed more than a few bowls of loud-mouth soup. Maybe I will become Arlington's first intoxicated vigilante and roam the streets wasted and fighting crime. So here's my question: when do I get my medal?
I enjoyed the story. It made me laugh a little bit.
Missile: Because it is all about you? No medal.
When you realize the hero move would have been to turn the ignition off and take the keys so she didn’t kill somebody, risking injury if she’d woken up as you did so. Then direct traffic and wait for the cops. It’s comforting though knowing our young people are taking good care of each other when they go out and get completely bombed every night.
Hey Bro did you have 9 of the large Hard Times Lager or 9 of the small? I'll give you a medal but only if you wear brown flip flops to the medal ceremony.
Good story. I see it could've gone really bad had the police misinterpreted what you were doing (Drunk in Public + Jaywalking + Attempted Theft + Assault)! If you really were a vigilante, would you incorporate Zui Quan a.k.a. Drunken Fist into your fighting repertoire? They might even build a statue of you in the Artisphere!
I also laugh at the idea of 2 drunk people trying to have a conversation in the middle of an intersection. It's hilarious hearing 2 drunk people talk (as long as it's not outside my apartment). I'm not sure whether she would have understood you if she were sober!
Lastly, will this show up in the weekly Crime Report?
Where is ATown said:
Hey Bro did you have 9 of the large Hard Times Lager or 9 of the small? I'll give you a medal but only if you wear brown flip flops to the medal ceremony.
Whatever fits in the Hart Times Mug on their mug night is what I had, so small I think? I don't own brown flip flops. Will white Adidas sandals fit the bill?
bobco85 said:
Good story. I see it could've gone really bad had the police misinterpreted what you were doing (Drunk in Public + Jaywalking + Attempted Theft + Assault)! If you really were a vigilante, would you incorporate Zui Quan a.k.a. Drunken Fist into your fighting repertoire? They might even build a statue of you in the Artisphere!
I also laugh at the idea of 2 drunk people trying to have a conversation in the middle of an intersection. It's hilarious hearing 2 drunk people talk (as long as it's not outside my apartment). I'm not sure whether she would have understood you if she were sober!
Lastly, will this show up in the weekly Crime Report?
The good news is that the girl that originally approached me was also still there and also filled out a statement so I had another party (sober) there to back up my story. But yes, could have gone wrong.
I need no further martial arts training. I am a master of monkey steals the peach. http://www.monkeystealsthepeach.com/
I hope it does show up. I shall be trolling.
Harkin said:
When you realize the hero move would have been to turn the ignition off and take the keys so she didn't kill somebody, risking injury if she'd woken up as you did so. Then direct traffic and wait for the cops. It's comforting though knowing our young people are taking good care of each other when they go out and get completely bombed every night.
The doors were locked so I couldn't have turned off the car any earlier than I did if that is what you were implying. I guess this just goes to show that alcohol can also save lives.
I guess alcohol also makes you think your story is funnier than it is.
Captain_Obvious said:
Harkin said:
I guess alcohol also makes you think your story is funnier than it is.
To Alcohol !
Who “thumbs down” a Simpsons quote ?
I thought you were going to say that they gave you a DUI for having the keys in your hand. Glad it didn't end that way. It's really scary that someone would drive a car that blitzed. What are people thinking???
