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Jail bird encounter
  • TheMissile November 10, 2012 - 3:20 pm #54807 Reply

    Hey, everyone.  Missile here.  I would like to share another anecdote of my Arlington adventures.


    It all started last night when Wilson Tavern told me it was 2 AM and I had to leave the premises.  I stepped outside and began to engage in drunken conversation in front of the bar and I'm sure I was annoying at least a few people with my troll-like commentary.


    Just then, a few 60 year old guys roll up on me and ask me if the bars are still open.  I said “No, it's 2 AM and this one just told me to leave.”  They proceeded to candidly admit that they had just been released from jail.  I didn't believe them and said “Yeah, right.  Me too.”  They then explained that they were trying to take the metro to Fairfax and didn't have any money.  I didn't know Fairfax was such a hip place for ex-cons to go upon release.  At this point it, became evident that they were requesting that I finance their voyage.  I told them that I didn't believe that they didn't have any money, and because I was not thinking clearly, I demanded that the one I was speaking with empty his pockets.  He turned one inside out and there was indeed nothing in it.  I then pointed to his other pocket, which was bulging.  I said “Well what do you have in there then?  Looks like a giant wad of cash.  Let's see it.”  He then looked down at his bulging pocket as if he could feel the few remaining shreds of dignity he had left shrivel up and die.  He then reached into his pocket and took out a roll of toilet paper.


    At this point it all clicked.  We were standing a few blocks away from the Courthouse jail, they had no money, and I had just forced one of them to show me his roll of toilet paper he was probably going to need to use in an alley later that night.


    I stopped talking, reached into my wallet and gave him all the cash I had left, which ended up being $10.  I bid them both a safe journey to the local hot spot that is Fairfax.

    RelaxBrah November 10, 2012 - 6:56 pm #54808 Reply

    You should have made him trade you his TP for the money. No such thing as a free wipe

    johnny b November 10, 2012 - 7:29 pm #54809 Reply

    'A few 60 year old guys…..'

    'I bid them both a safe journey…'


    TheMissile November 14, 2012 - 4:37 pm #54810 Reply

    Not 100% sure I understand your post, but are you implying I that had a condescending tone?  Well, I did have one because I didn't just get released from jail.

    Bard November 15, 2012 - 5:07 pm #54811 Reply

    I preferred your DUI tale.

    newty25 November 15, 2012 - 7:35 pm #54812 Reply

    Bard said:

    I preferred your DUI tale.

    Agreed.  I still maintain he was hitting on the wrong chic.

    KalashniKEV November 16, 2012 - 9:16 am #54813 Reply

    You might be on to something…


    Were there any conditions attached to this disbursement, such as:


    You can NEVER come back to Arlington again.



    TheMissile November 16, 2012 - 9:58 am #54814 Reply

    newty25 said:

    Bard said:

    I preferred your DUI tale.

    Agreed.  I still maintain he was hitting on the wrong chic.

    Haha fair enough.  Yeah I wonder if she would forgive me and let me holla.

    newty25 November 16, 2012 - 11:28 am #54815 Reply

    TheMissile said:

    Haha fair enough.  Yeah I wonder if she would forgive me and let me holla.

    You should have written a short note like you'd been hanging out all night and put it in her pocket… “Had a great time hanging out tonight, hope you make it home safely. Call me in the morning if you need a ride from jail :) 703-XXX-XXXX…”

    TheMissile November 16, 2012 - 12:04 pm #54816 Reply

    haha newty you are the boss

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