Naked Man Startles Ballston Residents

by Katie Pyzyk December 12, 2012 at 3:00 pm 6,920 55 Comments

Some morning commuters heading through Ballston got an eyeful today. Police responded to calls of a naked man wandering the streets.

Shortly after 8:00 a.m., police started receiving calls about a naked man walking north on N. Randolph Street from 9th Street. When police arrived, the man was still naked, and officers noticed a large gash on the side of his neck. The man was taken to Virginia Hospital Center for further evaluation.

So far, police haven’t identified the man and haven’t said if the neck wound was the result of an assault or whether it was self-inflicted. They also haven’t said if alcohol or drugs were involved. There’s also no confirmation to a report that the man may have been carrying a knife or some sort of a blade.

  • Douglas Parker

    Patrick over-served again!?

    • JamesE

      well played

      • Douglas Parker

        ‘preciate it.

    • drax

      Damn, beat me to it.

    • Those crazy Moran-Kennedys! What are we going to do with them.

  • Major Pup McPuppo Jr.

    thx for reporting news ripped from the forum w/ no additional information added

    • We’ve been aware of this incident since it happened this morning and reported each and every piece of information police were able to release this afternoon.

  • novasteve

    Maybe Courthouse will become like a little San Francisco when the year round homeless shelter opens?

  • derp

    tis year of bath salts….

  • Colin Hart

    Walter and his fugue states…

  • Ren

    I like the statement that he was STILL naked and NOW gashed when the cops showed. You’d think he’d put some clothes on and avoid accidents once he knew company was coming!!

  • Multiple Duh

    Arlnow, can you please consider making your comment section private or part of some forum? Those of us that want to read about what’s going on without Statler, Waldorf, Racists-Who-Mock-Non-Western-European names, etc, are finding it increasingly difficult to click your links unless it’s within 2 seconds of your posting a story.

    • cranky crankypants

      Here’s a vote against that plan. I like both the updates and the comments.

      • Tired of the disrespect

        I do appreciate the updates. The comments are by and large a bunch (or it could be five people, I don’t know) of folks who think they are SO CLEVER that every thought they have should be shared publicly so all of us can enjoy them. And the comments were already in my view when I clicked on the article. “You don’t have to read them” is missing the point, it’s like some jagoff is standing over your shoulder shouting pointless crap while you’re reading the paper. And this has been going on since its inception, but I guess that’s what internet trolls are here for, to ruin things. I’ll be back if/when this changes. Sorry, Arlnow, that the moron contingency is chasing away some of your readership.

        • Dan

          I am pretty sure that the comments won’t show unless you click on “Comments”……..

          • Brian


        • Quoth the Raven

          That makes no sense. If you don’t want to read the comments, don’t scroll down to them. How hard is that? Not sure how that’s “missing the point”.

    • arlconative

      that would alienate their target base.

    • YTK

      The Snark factor adds Spice to this forum– how else can we Relish each and every newsBite????

    • NIMBY The Chicken

      Perhaps you don’t scroll down past the social media share buttons? That would certainly save you some frustration..

    • Glebe Roader

      You don’t have to read the comments. Just read the article.

    • KathyInArlingtonVA

      Multiple Duh — no one makes you read the comments. Read the article and be on your way.

      • Ballston Lurker

        Better yet Multiple Duh, just shut up and go away.

  • Salmon Ella

    Novasteve, where would you suggest the homeless live? Someone else’s street?

    • novasteve

      Now that this guy will be a registered sex offender, will he have to register to move into the homeless shelter?

      • jackson

        Where do you read that he was homeless? For all we know, you’re the naked guy, and you’re posting from the hospital.

        • drax

          All criminals are homeless, jackson! And all homeless are criminals.

          • novasteve

            What will you say when a loved one gets hurt by a lunatic around here? Still worth the feel good moment you get from welcoming them here?

    • darsasx

      I would propose that there are several outstanding sites in the 2300 block of 18th Street North, followed by several decent sites in the 1500 block of N. Highland Street.
      I can also *guarantee* that neither of those blocks would ever be considered.

  • Douglas Parker

    Was he wearing a scarf?

  • Hank

    This is fantastic! This is the kind of good old fashion Arlington crime we’ve been missing for the last few months. Much better than the murders, bank burglaries, assaults we’ve had of late. Thank you, naked man!

    • Luke

      “good old Arlington fashion crime,” perhaps?

      • Hank

        The only fashion crime that could have occurred is if his carpets and curtains don’t match.

    • McChipstah

      I’m still reeling from the visual: “Bicyclist Survives After Dump Truck Runs Over His Head.” Today’s headline gave me a pleasant visual! (I enjoy life drawing). Story ruin it though.

      To Multiple Duh-weird request.

  • Christiann

    That’s North Arlington for you
    – South Arlington

    • Oz

      Crystal City awards you +1

  • novasteve

    So is this why it’s called Ballston?

    • arlconative

      good one.

      • novasteve

        Cold today too. Perhaps Ballston should be renamed to Shrinkageston?

    • Sarcastic Jane

      Maybe it was Lance Armstrong…no wait…that would have happened in Uni-Ballston!

  • Junior

    I wonder if this is the same guy Kornheiser has spotted near E-W Hwy and Beach Drive..

  • TeaPartyTony

    The Government has no right to force me to buy pants!

    • SCOTUS

      Really? You should read the “healthcare” bill.

  • novasteve

    There’s a german schizophrenic guy who was known to do this in the past.

    • RK

      Novasteve I thought that it was the German why as well. The day before he was sitting by that same building he was arrested at cursing at everyone who walked by and throwing out the N word. It would not surprise me.

      • novasteve

        He’s very tempermental. I once referred to him as “Du” instead of “Sie” in German and he went absolutely insane on me at First Downs.

  • themayor

    Ballston needs it’s own Arlnow “Police Log” section. We needed this section yesterday.

  • Clarendon Skank

    If he is Serbian, I would be able to tell.

  • novasteve

    Let me guess, next week a naked guy will start throwing molotovs in ballston.

    • drax

      No, in Courthouse – the start of the popular uprising!

  • Lost me Nuts

    Hey – I just saw the video of Naked Man’s brother:


  • Hank

    Hmm… if ArlNow would add the crime map back, what would the icon look like for crimes of this nature?

    • novasteve

      A trench coat?

  • SnipSnip

    anatomically speaking if he went into a restaurant would
    he be “leaving a tip”?

  • Luna

    How exotic! Ballston is getting REAL wild of late…. why I can remember the good old days when naked people stayed in their CARS and caused trouble for Arlington police!


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