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Police Respond to Huffing Disturbance

by Katie Pyzyk January 23, 2013 at 9:55 am 37,140 128 Comments

Arlington County police carA disturbance at the Phoenix House on the 500 block of N. Quincy Street prompted a call to police late Monday night, when a resident allegedly became out of control while huffing a chemical.

According to police, two roommates at the Ballston-based substance abuse treatment center alerted a resident adviser that their roommate had been acting erratically and their room was in disarray. When the resident adviser arrived in the room, the subject was wearing only a t-shirt and had a sheet over his head while allegedly huffing disinfectant spray. The resident adviser called police because the subject was reportedly hissing, speaking in tongues, shaking uncontrollably, trying to eat coins and had attempted to set his mattress on fire.

Police say when they arrived and tried to speak with the 18-year-old man, he was naked and still attempting to eat coins. Officers tried taking the man into custody but he didn’t cooperate. The officers gave him a warning but he continued to stay on all fours and growl at them, so they successfully tased him and handcuffed him, according to a police spokesman. The man then attempted to eat the Taser cords, we’re told.

Police say once they managed to handcuff the man, the naked subject bent over with his hands still behind his back, and according to the police report “spreads his anus open and proclaims, ‘Who wants some?'”

The subject appeared to have some type of seizure or shaking fit and fell to the floor, where he somehow managed to get his cuffed hands in front of his body, according to police. Cops say the man then spat at them and tried to grab them.

The man has voluntarily committed himself for psychiatric evaluation and nobody was hurt in the incident.

No charges have been filed against the man; police say they are more concerned with getting him proper mental assistance.

  • Elspet

    So it started with a New Testament-style possession and ended in goatse. I don’t believe our cops get paid enough.

    • tasemebro

      They get paid plenty, for the very, very little they do. You’re very impressed that they tased some kid that was freaking out?

      • Dontasmebro


        • w


      • Quoth the Raven

        The “very, very little they do”??? What a comment. You live in one of the safest places in the world, in part because of the job the police do, and yet you claim they don’t do much? In your expert opinion, what would you have them do? What should they have done differently here?

        • Jimbo

          They did fine at arresting Twitchy the Huffy Wunderkind, but that’s really all they did. They didn’t foil a bank heist. They didn’t save anyone’s life. They’re not heroes. They arrested a retarded drug addict who was incapable of even pissing himself properly.

          • Harley

            Jimbo – apparently you don’t know the difference between “do” and “did”. What they “did” wasn’t arrest Twitchy the Huffy Wunderkind, yes. No great heroics in that. However, what they “do” is much more than that. And while they may not have superhero capes on throughout the day or even on a weekly basis, you tell me what number you call first when your life is in danger or your car is flipped upside down. Everyone likes to give cops hell and say they get paid just fine or don’t do enough because of a few bad eggs, but they’re the first people everyone turns to when shit hits the fan.

          • Pecker Brown

            I reckon they did a better job in that situation than you would, lunchmeat.

        • mary

          I live in halifax ns ,a place where a man can beat up his wife and send her to hospital ,and she is the one arrested ,because he called the cops first, ya it happened to me, and he stalked me for 3 years and the cops told me to leave my family behind and move somewhere else, so ya they are paid way to much,by the way my 2 kids and I were left homeless by him and the cops let him,he took everything we had I didnt even have cloths, so where is the justice ???

          • Aaron

            I’m sorry to hear it Mary but the officer’s are only able to do what the state legislature allows them to do. If they were unable to arrest him it is not the officer’s fault. I’m promise you most of those officer’s, if not all, would have loved to tap dance on his face or stick him in a dark whole to keep him away from your family.

          • Stan

            Mary – Any credibility in your story, as true and impartial as it may or may not be, is negated by your complete disregard for punctuation, proper grammar, or even the remote ability to form a complete and coherent sentence. For instance – I am not sure why he would need to keep all your cloths. Or your clothes for that matter.

        • I agree


      • gaycop


      • mary

        I agree the cops are not so good in my opinion,

      • Bob

        tasemebro, You are so brave to make these comments under an alias.

    • f29d6h

      “So it started with a New Testament-style possession and ended in goatse.”

      I lol’d

      • CW

        Sounds like a good saturday night to me!!!

  • Autoexec.bat

    The comments are practically going to write themselves this morning, it appears.

  • Caat Grrrl

    WOW! Thank you to those police officers. I agree that sometimes they don’t get paid enough.

  • JamesE

    I see he did the goatse maneuver

  • pattyballston

    I just hope they don’t try to take away this guys second amendment rights once he gets released

    • Convict him of a felony.

      Then feel free to do so.

  • xarl

    and if the LEO gets scratched or bitten, which can happen, that takes it to yet another level

  • nunya


    • Tabs

      Thanks for that PSA. I have long refused to Google goatse or “two girls, one cup.”

      I know I don’t want to see them.

      • Taxes

        You think* you don’t want to see them.

    • NotGoogling

      Thank you. I almost googled it at work. Maybe later.

  • CW

    Looks like he picked the wrong week to NOT stop sniffing glue.

    • brendan

      well done.

  • Hee-Haw

    “Excuse me, May I ASS you a question?”

    • CrystalMikey

      “do you have a mint, perhaps some binaca?”

    • WeiQiang

      “Nice picture of a street car in your anus.”

      • drax

        You are awarded 1.5 FREDTERPs.

        • Louise

          Funniest comment so far ^^

      • bub


  • novasteve

    Bob Goatse meets Huffer Allison.

  • Deadite

    Should have tased him in the butthole.

    • G Clifford Prout

      Kinky. I like the way you think!

      • WeiQiang

        we’ve been rolling that way forever in SArl.

        • Freddie

          Every Tuesday Night is anal tasing night at Freddie’s Beach Bar! Try the drink specials too.

        • G Clifford Prout

          Adds a hole new dimension to electro play.

        • Hank

          Do you have a Meetup I could join?

          • twitbaby

            you hear that Hank?!

  • Clarendon Skank

    You win this round, huffing goatse boy. No way I can top that.

  • Tabs

    Sooo, how about those food trucks?

  • Bojana

    TOO much information!

    • Agreed


  • Neighbor

    “Police say they are more concerned with getting him proper mental assistance” is the right answer. Taking potshots at an obviously disturbed individual is a bit crass, even for this site.

  • Rory

    Good gosh. Poor guy. I hope this is rock bottom and he turns his life around.

    • malaka

      I just hope he turns his bottom around

  • Ben

    What’s sad is the police have to be the first responders in cases like this.

    It’s clear a psychiatric team would be better equipped and trained to handle situations like this – but they have neither the funding or jurisdiction for such actions.

    • drax

      A psych team accompanied by police, maybe.

      Arlington police, and many other jurisdictions, get some training on how to handle these things. But they will deliver him to a psych team.

    • Deadite

      Yeah, send in the nerdy shrink with the tweed jacket first to talk to this animal. Okay.

      • Ben

        You’d be surprised what techs in psychiatric hospitals deal with on a daily basis without the help of tasers.

        From the stories they have told me this seems like a normal day for them….

        • drax

          But they don’t go out of the hospital and respond to calls about people who are out of control. The police do that, because nobody knows what they guy is going to do. Is he violent? Does he have a weapon? Yeah, you better have a guy with a radio and a taser (and a gun) there, just in case. That’s why police respond to police calls. The psych team can handle him after that.

    • Willard

      As a member of a “psychiatric team” I am flattered that you think we would be able to handle such a situation. The following Youtube video demonstrates the self defense techniques we are taught. You notice that it does not cover what to do with a huffing goatse boy.


      • CW

        Just improvise.

  • novasteve

    Perhaps its time Ballston gets renamed to Crazyston or Insaneston? A lot of craziness has been going on there in the past year.

    • novasteve

      Assston. Huffington.

  • BallstonHomeowner

    Now that’s change you can believe in!

  • ArlingtonNative

    Hmm, goatse = Clarendon-Courthouse sign, Clarendon-Courthouse sign = goatse.
    Just sayin …

    • JamesE

      now I can’t un-see it

  • uh…

    I’m kinda speechless at the detail here. Sheesh.

  • 120

    Voluntarily commited himself for psychiatric evaluation? It was optional?

    • drax

      It means they didn’t have to go get the court order first.

  • observing

    Interesting that the professional complainer is MIA.

  • Ashton Heights Manlet

    “the Phoenix House on the 500 block of N. Quincy Street” AKA Everest College. Well situated next to the ABC liquor store.

  • Hot Carl

    The details in this article make me very excited and hungry for exotic fudge.


  • MikeinARL

    If this were, say, Patrick Moran, then by all means, details, details, details.

    But since this is a person clearly not functioning well, and having already humbled himself by volunteering for the treatment program in the first place, perhaps less details and more compassion and discretion was warranted in this case. Mocking those in need lessens us all.

    • angered

      Agreed, posting the details of this was completely uncalled for, perhaps even violating patient confidentiality if Phoenix House is actually considered a treatment facility and not simply a sober community. WashingtonPost.com has a landing-page article today about the crisis of inadequate inpatient mental health care in the region, and unfortunately the burden of care frequently falls on drug treatment centers that do not have the staff or resources to care for multiple-diagnosis patients. I hope this young person gets the help he needs.

      • Taco Man

        I hope someone gives him a Taco…..

      • observer

        The police are not bound by patient confidentiality. They aren’t doctors.

        This story, details and all, might help people realize that we have a crisis in mental health in Virginia.

        • xarl

          best post on here–hope it raises awareness, and it’s not just Virginia

      • Tuffnd

        Posting of the details is 100% called for. We as media consumers hardly ever get the whole story. There was confidentiality violation, the center, because of the type of institution is not bound to those legal restrictions. He also put others in danger and clearly is not only mentally unstable but has a drug problem too. What is uncalled for is allowing the zoning for a “treatment facility” and the zoning for a liquor store to overlap. Why would put your treatment facility smack dab in the middle of clarendon?

        • drax

          Was the liquor store there first or the treatment center?

        • Erick

          What map are you people looking at? Phoenix house is not in Clarendon, nor is it on th same block as Everest College or the ABC store.

      • KathyInArlington

        I agree that posting the vulgar details of this was completely uncalled for. Too much information!

        • CW

          Read the first amendment and have a nice day.

          • Quoth the Raven

            1st amendment allows you to do it, but it doesn’t require you to do it.

        • Meg

          Oh lighten up! If you dont like it, stop reading. It made my day. I wish I could be part of that man’s psych team

  • silly

    Is it completely neccessary to include ALL the details in this report!!!

    • veeta

      It is if you are just trying to entertain the masses and get lots of comments. Sick and totally unnecessary.

  • drax

    If we have goatse in Arlington, why not chickens?

  • drax

    Scott: Thanks for coming in to see me, Katie. You have a great resume. Any questions?

    Katie: So, what will I be reporting on in this job?

    Scott: Oh, just your basic local news. Frozen yogurt shops opening, things like that. Nothing weird.

    Katie: I won’t have to write about crazy druggies exposing their anuses to police officers or anything like that, will I?

    Scott: Are you kidding? Nah.

  • BallstonHomeowner

    I want to commend ArlNow for posting this with all the details. When people make poor choices in life – and endanger police officers in the process – they ought not be entitled to having public records like this arrest report voluntarily censored/sanitized by a private website.

    In a free society, the public has a right to comment on, and yes, judge individuals’ behavior. When we start treating stupidity as a disease – and huffing at drug rehab is stupid – we tacitly start accepting it. I understand addiction is a demon that is very hard to overcome; but it is ultimately a demon that exists because the individual allows it to. When that allowance endangers the public or its officers, the public should condemn and ridicule it.

    • drax

      If only life were as simple as that.

      This isn’t about whether huffing at drug rehab is stupid or not. It’s about drug addiction. If you were addicted, you’d be stupid too. Overcoming addiction a bit like overcoming a severe injury with physical therapy – it involves both effort and outside help. Both are required. It’s not something the person has full control over. Saying that simple truth doesn’t constitute accepting it. It’s just true. The addict doesn’t care if you condemn him, so what’s the point?

      And nobody is censoring, that’s ridiculous.

      • novasteve

        Do we get to expect more of this with drug legalization?

        • CW

          Recovery from addiction? Probably, because people won’t have to hide their problems for fear of being stigmatized. .

          • novasteve

            Won’t more people become addicted if it’s legal for them to do so? Cheaper too?

    • silly

      Commend them for what exactly? Free society is what I signed up for when parents brought me into this world but reporting what this troubled kid said to police regarding his anus is downright stupid reporting. It adds nothing of substance, we already know this kid is troubled. I’m an Arlingtonian from the moment GO so nothing surprises me but the lack of scruples in todays society is troubling. Grow up, mind your business and be polite! So now I’ll wait for the next scholar to reply to my reply.

      • novasteve

        18 is legal adult. if he doesn’t want people to know he’s offering his anus to the police, then he shouldn’t do it.

    • Ben

      BallstonHomeowner – Ironically enough posted from an anonymous account.

  • South Side Chris

    1 – Finally, not south county.

    2 – This really should be “Today’s Featured Event.”

  • Sebastian Melmoth

    it’s starting to seem like ballston has something to do with a vast majority of the weirdness or crime that goes on in arlington. what the heck happened to that area?

    • nom de guerre

      The Phoenix House is actually located in Ashton Heights which now can be referred to as Asstown Heights.

  • novasteve

    Isn’t “cornhole” really popular in Arlington?

  • bman

    Was it one of the residents in the photos on the website?

  • novasteve

    He committed various assaults by swining at them and spitting. Does everyone get a pass? He voluntarily intoxicated himself. Would a person drunk on alcohol get a pass for doing the same thing? I doubt it.

    • nom de guerre

      What exactly did this individual do that constituted “swining?” Getting on all fours, hissing eating coins and taser cords or perhaps something else?

    • drax

      What kind of “‘pass” do you think he got, steve?

  • Douglas Parker

    I gotta say there are a lot of details in this article. Very informative, but I HAVE TO KNOW….


    Because that should NOT be on anyones BUCKET LIST!

  • KalashniKEV

    Wow… “Proclaimed” it even…

    • Tame Will

      Like you’ve never done that.

      • U.S. Army

        We have all kinds of weird hazing rituals.

  • SoArl Snob

    This would NEVER happen in SoArl!

  • novasteve

    It’s only January, but this obviously is going to be the story of the year, and we have our new Trev for 2013.

  • Rick

    Lysol’s a helluva drug.

  • huff

    Nothing like a good Huff to unwind after a long days work.

  • Jack

    “police say they are more concerned with getting him proper mental assistance.”

    Do it on his own time his own dime. No one made him huff. He is a waste of space and money in our society

    • drax

      Even if you believe that – and not everybody shares your view – the problem is that it will cost us all more not to treat him than to treat him.

    • Buckingham Bandit

      Unfortunately, all of his dimes are in his stomach, apparently.

    • Buckingham Bandit

      Unfortunately, all of his dimes are in his stomach apparently.

  • Joe Hoya

    This article seems more suited to the Huff-ington Post.

  • Washing my eyeballs

    Way to downplay the content with a generic headline…

  • novasteve

    Wow, imagine if naked running guy, molotov thrower, and huffer goatse all appeared at the same place at the same time?

  • Bah Phoon

    Headlines They Could Have Used:

    Rectum? Damn Near Killed Him

    ‘ You Said to Spread ‘Em, Officer’

    If You Understand Your Rights, Wink Your A-Hole Once for Yes, Twice for No

    ‘Thanks, But I Had Tossed Salad Yesterday’

    Cop to Perp: ‘Is That Your Anus, Or Are You Just Happy to See Me?’

    ‘When We Said Show Us Where You Hide Your Stash, That’s Not What We Meant.’

  • Loco Parentis

    I’m just glad Phoenix House is nowhere near a playground.

    Oh, wait…

  • Bah Phoon

    Even More Headlines They Could Have Used:

    Happy Ending Revealed

    Another Opening at Phoenix House

    Not a Healthy Dating Practice

    ‘Sarge, If You Squint, It Looks Like That Rookie With the Goatee’

  • BoogerFree

    I know where to party tonight!

  • Bah Phoon

    ‘But I Do This at Wal-Mart All the Time’

    Now That’s What I call a Police Cruiser

    Don’t It Make My Brown Eye Blue

  • Jarlath Bloom

    That’s one hell of a lemonparty !

  • FooManChoo

    Maybe he was looking for the…

    Night Man, sneaky and mean
    Spider inside my dreams
    I think I love you

    You make me wanna cry
    You make me wanna die
    I love you, I love you, I love you,
    I love you, I love you
    Night Man

    Every night you come into my room
    And pin me down with your strong arms
    You pin me down, and I try to fight you
    You come inside me
    You fill me up
    And I become the Night Man…

  • Swag

    Now when I pass people on the street I’m going to wonder if they, perhaps, are the Goatse Bro of Arlington.

  • See guys, this is what happens when 4chan users use drugs & wind up getting arrested.
    Get off 4chan
    Huff something
    Bite taser cords

  • gnushell

    I don’t know about some of you, but I’d rather know that there’s an imitation goatse on the loose. Sometimes that level of detail is important.


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