91°Partly Cloudy

Crime Report: Ballston Buttocks Grabber

by ARLnow.com November 1, 2012 at 12:15 pm 8,992 70 Comments

A man grabbed the behind of a woman as she was walking home from the Ballston Metro station early Saturday morning, according to police.

It’s at least the third instance of a woman having her posterior touched inappropriately in Ballston over the past five months.

From this week’s Arlington County crime report:

SEXUAL ASSAULT, 10/27/12, 1100 block of N. Stafford Street. At 1:38 am on October 27, a female walking home from the Ballston Metro station was approached from behind by a Hispanic male on a bike when he grabbed her butt. The suspect fled the scene on his bike. He is described as approximately 25 years of age, about 5’6″ tall with a medium build. He had slicked back black hair and was wearing blue jeans and a short sleeve blue and white stripe polo shirt at the time of the incident.

The rest of the crime report, after the jump.

ARMED ROBBERY, 10/30/12, 2200 block of N. Arlington Boulevard. At 6:35 pm on October 30, a suspect entered a hotel lobby, brandished a firearm and ordered the front desk clerk to the ground. The suspect stole money from the cash register and ordered another hotel guest to the ground before fleeing the scene through a rear hotel door. The suspect is described as a white male, in his 40’s, approximately 5’10” tall with a medium build. He was wearing a dark colored jacket, dark knit hat, khaki pants and had a dark colored scarf around the bottom of his face at the time of the incident.

BURGLARY, 10/27/12, 1700 block of N. Stafford Street. Between 12 and 3 pm on October 26, an unknown suspect(s) entered a residence and stole jewelry and money. There is no suspect(s) description.

BURGLARY, 10/27/12, 1800 block of S. 9th Street. Between 3 and 9:30 pm on October 27, an unknown suspect(s) entered a residence and stole jewelry. There is no suspect(s) description.

BURGLARY, 10/29/12, 2700 block of S. Veitch Street. Between 9 pm on October 27 and 8:30 pm on October 28, an unknown suspect(s) entered a residence through a window. The victim’s are unsure if anything was stolen. There is no suspect(s) description.

BURGLARY, 10/30/12, 5100 block of N. Lee Highway. Between 5:45 pm on October 29 and 8:50 am on October 30, an unknown suspect(s) broke the glass of a business front door and stole numerous cell phones. There is no suspect(s) description.


10/24/12, NC AJB 6149, 1993 Honda Accord, Green, 1700 block of S. Hayes Street
10/25/12, VA 728935, 2012 Honda CBR1000 RR, Black, 4400 block of N. 4th Street
10/25/12, VA 601745, 2003 Honda CBR600 RR, Black, 4400 block of N. 4th Street
10/27/12, VA WYD6553, 2002 Ford Econo, White, 1600 block of N. Pierce Street
10/28/12, VA XHG6223, 2010 Mini Cooper, White, 2500 block of S. Walter Reed Drive
10/30/12, MD A196459 (tags only), 4100 block of N. 3rd Road

  • novasteve

    Nice description of the suspect. All manlets are now suspects.

  • nom de guerre

    What’s next-The Fairlington Fundament Fondler?

    • Mick

      Let’s count our blessings.

      I’m just happy this didn’t happen on Assateague Island, across Assawoman Bay, down in Titusville, Fla. or, lord forbid, up on Dickey Ridge.

      • Ray

        Or in Manassas

        • YTK

          Such Asstoot comments

        • R. Ump

          So asinine

        • Id

          Only man’s arses are grabbed there.

    • novasteve

      Would suck to be incontinent in Accident, MD

      • MO


  • Jim Moron

    Do we think ACPD and Falls Church share notes on these things? Similar incident in FC a week or two ago.

  • SHLady

    The Penrose Posterior Patter?

  • Just Wondering

    Is it unlawfulto grab your own wife’s buttocks?

  • Jeanne

    gotta love the title

  • SHLady

    the Clarendon Keister Kisser?

  • Jay

    Shirlington sack smacker

  • Mick

    “It’s at least the third instance of a woman having her posterior touched inappropriately.”


    • SomeGuy

      Agreed. These guys should learn how to appropriately touch an ass.

  • Deadite

    The Courthouse Crotch Cuddler.

  • SHLady

    Rosslyn Rear-end Rubber

  • DrTchock

    Penrose Pooper Patter

  • SHLady

    Highland Park Hindquarter Handler

  • Sam the Cat

    They were assking for it, thats what they always say

  • SomeGuy

    I’m fearful of what a Virginia Square perp might try to snatch a hold of.

    • Dr Seuss


  • cranky crankypants

    You know, GUYS, it may be funny in theory, but this is a sexual assault. Wait ’til it happens to your wife, girlfriend, or sister and see how the jokes feel.

    • JM

      Well, guys you all knew that comment was coming.

    • DrTchock

      tushy subject

    • Mike Hunt


    • Right of Center

      Yeah knock it off or I’ll smack you on the ass!

    • Mick

      “But mommie, the headline writer…he STARTED it.”

    • Sam

      The funny thing is…..if it happened to a guy….police would never be involved.

      • ballstoncmyk

        i fail to see how that’s funny either.

    • George

      What’s dumber is that it is posted ABOVE an armed robbery…like it’s more important.

  • CW

    I’m more offended that these crime reports appear to have been written by an elementary school child. Can’t ACPD hire an editor?

    • Bon Air Mom

      To that end, I called ACPD because the word “butt” was used instead of buttocks, which would be the correct public relations/reporting term to use. The person who answered the phone said he was new to the position and was learning (obviously). I told him to check with his fellow officers about correct terminology when writing about such sensitive topics.


      • SoArl

        Did you seriously call? If you did, kudos. That must have been a hilarious conversation.

        • Bon Air Mom

          I sure did. Not entirely confident that my message got through to him. He sounded very young.

          • The Terrible Twins

            Shades of Firesign Theater……

  • justin

    Bulldoze that vagrant attracting mall and these problems would end the next day.

    • drax

      Gee, didn’t see that comment coming either.

      • geezer

        spanish seat snugglers

        • drax

          Ballston bed bums

  • Arlington cat

    you missed the “Glebe Glute Groper.”

  • novasteve

    Didn’t the Butt Slasher strike in Ballston too? Wasn’t he busted in South America somewhere?

  • GUYS

    The Fairlington Fanny Fondler!

  • Frivolous

    At what point does Arlington and its Police address the issue that is Ballston Skid-Row

    • drax

      How exactly?

    • Josh S

      Further example of those needing to get out more.

    • Mick

      Only in NoVa would Ballston be considered “skid row.”

      Some perspective, pls.

      • Eric Burdon

        Well, there is a mall in Arlington
        They call the Ballston Common
        And it’s been the ruin of many a poor boy
        And God I know I’m one

        Oh mother tell your children
        Not to do what I have done
        Spend your lives touching girls on the bum
        In Ballston Arlington

        • Mick

          They say, there’s a place
          Called the Chick fil A
          With Wangs cooked in spice
          Crispy skin and tender meat
          All ‘n all quite nice.

          But don’t you go there and sashay
          ‘Cause they just wont do gay,
          hey, hey.

          Day in and out you can have your fill
          Of all that deep fried swill.
          Any time, any day
          Just not Sun-day

        • Id

          Courtesy of the Animal’s “House of the Rising Sun”

        • drax

          Well done.

    • Alan

      They might be able to finally lease the old Fridays space above the metro if they thinned out the homeless.

  • Gen Lee

    The Westover Weenie Wiggler

  • kung_fubar

    The Rosslyn Rump Wrangler

  • Right of Center

    The Trolly Tush Toucher

  • CW

    The Artispheeler.

    • cranky crankypants

      ok, that one is funny.

    • Say it Ain’t So


  • ballston bystander

    butt he returned the CaBi bike on time and in good condition.

  • RelaxBrah

    Where’s the DWI Girl?

  • Forrest Gump

    Arl Cop: Where did you say you got grabbed son?
    Forrest: I got grabbed in the buttocks.

  • Zack

    I’m surprised the butt-grabber didn’t flip his bike while trying to escape.

  • Arlingtonian

    Sooner or later, the perp is going grab the posterior of a woman who has recently eaten a pile of baked beans.

  • Bacon

    A little late, but can I register “the Buckingham Grab-her-ham”?

  • WTF

    C’mon, people, this is a sexual assault and surely scared her and any previous victims. Making fun of it can discourage reporting. Time to stop this creep from attacking women.

    • Frivolous

      For serious. Do they not have a moderator to close comment sections when they go too far. Enjoy having your loved ones fondled, robbed or verbally harassed around the Ballston metro

  • Arlingtonian

    The real problem here is sexual discrimination. A male would not complain if a female grabbed his posterior. Further, few people would take such a complaint seriously. Same thing if a female publicly took off her clothes in front of a male.

    However, when the reverse occurs, people call the cops. The cops respond, at public expense.

    You need to recognize sexual discrimation when you see it. When you do, you will understand a basis for the humorous comments.

    • drax

      Yes. Except a male would have the right to complain about either (and a few do). The bottom line, no pun intended, is both of those acts are illegal. The law is sexist, perhaps, but it errs on the side of caution, at least in the case of assault.


Subscribe to our mailing list