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Crime Report: Smells Like a Sex Crime Edition

by ARLnow.com April 25, 2012 at 4:45 pm 4,501 29 Comments

Arlington’s month-long streak of men seen performing lewd acts in public places continued this past weekend.

On Sunday, the loss prevention manager of a pharmacy on Columbia Pike spotted a young man masturbating in the store’s perfume aisle, according to Arlington County Police spokesman Dustin Sternbeck.

From this week’s Arlington County crime report.

INDECENT EXPOSURE, 04/22/12, 5000 block of S. Columbia Pike. On April 22 at 8:15 pm, an unknown male subject was seen by an employee of the store masturbating in one of the store aisles. The suspect fled the scene and is described as a Hispanic male, approximately 23-28 years old. He was wearing blue jeans and a black jacket at the time of the incident.

The rest of the crime report, after the jump.

BURGLARY (Commercial), 04/19/12, 200 block of S. 18th Street. Between 7:30 pm on April 18, and 8 am on April 19, an unknown subject(s) gained entry into a locked commercial office suite. Four laptops were stolen. There is no suspect description.

BURGLARY, 04/19/12, 3600 block of N. Vermont Street. Between 2 am and 6:30 am on April 14, an unknown suspect(s) entered a residence and stole a laptop, iPad and iPad docking station. There is no suspect description.

BURGLARY, 04/24/12, 900 block of N. Taylor Street. Between 5 pm on April 23, and 2pm on April 24, an unknown subject(s) entered a residence and stole cash and a credit card. There is no suspect description.


04/22/12, VA 692067, 2006 Honda CBR600RR Motorcycle, Silver, 3500 block of S. Ball Street
04/21/12, VA XDB1519, 1995 Honda Accord, Black, 1200 block of S. Courthouse Road
04/20/12, VA 686552, 2011 Yamaha R6 Motorcycle, Black, 2700 block of S. Adams Street
04/23/12, VA TX20926, 1993 Ford E350, White, 2700 block of S. Oakland Street
04/22/12, WV 9RU992, 1992 Cadillac Seville, Brown, 4800 block of N. 25th Street

  • seriously. arlington so horny. *howls*

  • nunya

    I wonder which aisle….ladies unmentionables, family planning, candy?

    • nom de guerre

      “in the store’s perfume aisle.” You smell nice.

      • nunya

        I smell sex n candy, yeah…..

        • CMG

          Good one! I got a chuckle.

      • OldTimer

        Ralph Lauren Polo is so intoxicating. Oh my Pole – Ooooooohhhhhh

        • nom de guerre


  • John Fontain

    Take Off Your Pants & Jacket.

    • CW

      First thing I thought of, but beat me by a full day!

      (Pun intended…maybe?)

  • jackson

    Another reason to avoid that particular pharmacy (another being that predatory Advanced Towing patrols that lot constantly, whipping around the back of the place at a high rate of speed).

    • nom de guerre

      “whipping around the back of the place at a high rate of speed.” Sounds exactly like what this guy was caught doing.

  • Stroker Ace

    Do they like rub his nose in it when they’re done?

  • WeiQiang

    a ’92 Seville with WV tags. classic.

  • Skeptical

    Your Wind Song stays on his mind.

  • gnushell

    Reminds me of the beginning of the Eddie Murphy Old Spice and the sink routine.

    • Perm Bank

      Sink vs. sock: the ultimate philosophical question.

      • drax

        Baby, dat’s naaasty.

        • Morris Day

          What time is it?

  • Not your bro

    He probably lives at home with multiple generations. Hard to get privacy in that environment. Sunday night at the drug store must have been tempting.

    • Quoth the Raven

      “Multiple generations”?? Oh, I get it – because he’s Hispanic. Good one!

  • novasteve

    Remember the butt stabber? Was he extradited to the US?

    There was an SVU episode about the very same thing. Something like Pique syndrome or something like that.

  • YTK

    He shoulda sprayed perfume on the perp’s parts– then the perp would have had to move into the Pretzel Aisle.

  • Tabs

    I wish someone would steal my neighbor’s noisy old Harley.

  • Mongo

    Thank god, folks be back to plain old herky-jerkin’ it in public again. It’s the sign of an advanced society when the violence stops, and the self pleasuring begins. Or something like that. FREDTERP

    • sunflower

      make love not war?

  • Mack

    That loss prevention manager probably told him to beat it.


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