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Testicle Festival Returns to Va. Square

by Katie Pyzyk May 10, 2012 at 3:55 pm 11,878 38 Comments

(Updated at 4:15 p.m.) Exotic food lovers should enjoy an event taking place at the Arlington American Legion (3445 N. Washington Blvd) in Virginia Square on Saturday, May 19. The Montana State Society’s Eighth Annual Testicle Festival, dubbed “Legends of the Ball,” will be testing visitors’ gag reflexes.

The event lets attendees sample unlimited amounts of bull testicles, also called Rocky Mountain oysters. Like last year, there will be all-you-can-drink beer and Crown Royal to wash it down.

In a press release, organizers touted the event as a “unique western tradition.”

“While in D.C. people celebrate spring by posting pictures of cherry blossoms on Facebook, Montanans have a pretty unique tradition of our own,” said Montana State Society President Jed Link. “Spring is calving season out West, and that means something special in the pot come chow time.”

There will be live country music at the festival, which runs from 6:00-10:00 p.m. The first 200 people to arrive will also get a commemorative t-shirt.

Tickets can be purchased online for $25, or at the door for $30. Attendees must be at least 21.

  • Uh

    Why would anyone pay money to eat balls?

    • drax

      I was going to say “ask (insert disgraced anti-gay preacher who was caught having gay sex with a prostitute)” but I couldn’t narrow them down.

      • Thanks

        Thanks to ArlNow for dangling this in front of us.

  • G Clifford Prout (now moderated for extra purity)

    I really just have to question the placement of these two stories. The testicle festival followed by the protein story. Hmmmm.

    • Greg

      I’m questioning the placement of the overflowing water treatment plant sandwiched between the opening of two new taco restaurants.

  • The Real Protein Bar

    Total sausage-fest!

    • John Travolta

      Can’t wait. Yum…

  • We hope everyone will join us on Saturday, May 19. Remember, we’re not JUST serving balls. We also have all-you-can-drink liquid courage… That’s a steal at twice the price!

    Just to be clear, this isn’t THIS Saturday, but NEXT Saturday.

    See you there!

    • novasteve

      WIll there be a distance rule between people? I wouldn’t want to be within 3 feet of anyone who just ate a testicle.

    • Hurley

      Yes, all you can drink is what got me. Thank you for everything you do. I am going to get soooo sober.

    • novasteve

      Maybe Bayern Muenchen will win that afternoon and people can celebrate by Munchin on some balls?

    • Blue Ribbon

      The logo seems to imply the beer is PBR.

      • novasteve

        Oh great, now testicle eating is a hipster thing.

        • Montanans were drinking PBR long before it was the hipster thing to do. Darn, that sounded hipster didn’t it…

          If you know your beers there are two other brands paid homage in the logo. Can you name them?

          • drax

            Eating animal gonads is so mainstream.

          • nom de guerre

            Coors Light and Budweiser.

          • SteamboatWillie

            Will there be any Montana craft brews served? I saw a recent episode of “Drinking Made Easy” from Missoula, and there seemed to be quite a few locally brewed offerings that were well received.

  • Jessie

    You’d think this would be held in Ballston.

  • Good Grief

    Dress code = banana hammock

  • Clarendon

    See pics from last year for dress code


    Sleeveless button-downs optional, but probably don’t want to forget your cowboy hat.

  • Kevin

    Do we really need any more of these events? I am so tired of seeing hundreds of people who have overconsumed alcohol in various stages of inebriation, ranging to falling down drunk.

  • On the fence…

    So, lemme guess, lots of “wanna eat my balls?” jokes and stuff, huh?

    • Punster

      Sounds like some consider this event a hairy situation, but it makes no deferens to me if they go or not.

      Does anyone know of Rep. Tester will come down for this, or will he be nondescended? Hopefully he’ll have many more to attend, unless he’s sacked in November!

  • Matt

    I’m sad because I’m going to miss this. I’m from Kansas originally and Mountain Oysters are very good, but you can only eat so much as they are like Liver…packed full of protein.

  • llk

    Worst for mass inebriation is Shirlington Octoberfest. Many people seriously drunk.

    • j

      Live right around the corner and avoid this like the plague every year!

      • drax

        Wow, I would love to live next door to an Oktoberfest. No need to drive home drunk. What do you do that day, go to the library and read about Swedish land policy in the 1830s?

  • robby

    is leather dress required?

  • “will be testing visitors’ gag reflexes” NICE

  • Dennis Daniels

    Reminds me of my days growing up, sans the beer. We’d cut the bull calves, throw the testicles in a bucket, and take them back to the house and beg Mom to fry them up. She did not care for that. Glad Dad did not try to fry them. We could cook only oat meal and he did that religiously every morning before day light.

  • trulysickened

    Montanans have a pretty unique tradition of our own,” said Montana State Society President Jed Link. ”Spring is calving season out West, and that means something special in the pot come chow time.”

    THIS IS NOT SPECIAL IT IS SICK. YOU ARE KILLING BABY CALVES TO REMOVE THEIR TESICLES SO PEOPLE MAY CONSUME THEM. people don’t go, don’t support their stupid and cruel “tradition”. how revolting. then he goes on to promote all you can drink.

    • Clarendon

      I’m no expert but I think the testis come from bull calves that are castrated to create steers. They aren’t killed at that point. They have some years of grazing and wondering where their junk went before they are actually killed.

      • I want my sack back


        Cow – mmm…. this is good grass, where are my balls, mmmm…. this is good grass…. where’d my nuts go??? mmmm….

    • CW

      Unless you are typing your outraged comments on a grass-fed, self-built computer that wasn’t put together with forced labor in China, all while photosynthesizing your own sustenance, you are supporting some sort of cruelty, so stop being a hypocrite and go eat some balls.

    • novasteve

      If you drink milk, it’s the same thing. They kill the male babies.

    • Carnavore

      Mmmmm. Veal.

    • Eileen

      Hey …. they are castrating the calves; they don’t kill them until they can be sold for beef .. after they inhumanely fatten them up in grain yards.

  • Kony Thornheiser

    I hope it works out for the bouncer who stopped a guy trying to slide pass the door for an event unrelated to the TF. There was a long ID line waiting to get in the 6pm door, and after maybe 50 people had entered, this guy must have been oblivious to the process and didn’t think he needed to explain his situation. Escalation led to a takedown, which was only resolved until someone from MSS brought up a person from the other event to vouch for the gatebreaker.


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