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Man Accused of Lewd Act in Sauna, Again

by ARLnow.com March 1, 2013 at 2:15 pm 1,369 74 Comments

Morris Umansky (photo courtesy ACPD)For the second time in as many months, an Arlington man has been arrested for allegedly masturbating in the sauna of a local health club.

Police were at the LA Fitness club on the 3500 block of S. Clark Street in Crystal City Thursday morning, investigating a separate incident, when a gym user approached officers to tell them about a man he saw masturbating in the public sauna, according to Arlington County Police spokesman Dustin Sternbeck.

Police subsequently arrested 65-year-old Morris Umansky. Officers didn’t actually witness the act and Umansky, the owner of a local hair salon, claimed that he was grooming himself, not pleasuring himself, according to police.

Umansky was charged with indecent exposure and released on an unsecured bond. The Arlington resident was also arrested in late December and accused of masturbating in the same sauna.

The gym had not yet revoked his membership because they were awaiting a verdict in Umansky’s original case, Sternbeck said.

Photo courtesy Arlington County Police Department

  • drax

    Most awesome Brofile Cam™ shot ever.

  • Arlington Chris

    Nice photograph, flattering.

    • ph7

      He has stunning blue eyes. He should upload that to his Match. com profile.
      “I enjoy fitness, saunas, long strolls in handcuffs”

    • Douglas Parker

      It looks like he may still be punching the clown in his mugshot.

      • Blake

        You mean cranking down.

  • QTR

    Man, he likes that sauna!

  • flux

    He obviously did not finish.

    • Gym member

      thank goodness!

    • 120

      Looks like he was finishing when they took the pic.

  • iammike

    what a wanker.

    • FrenchyB

      A sticky situation, to be sure.

    • malaka

      Groomer – it’s different.

    • Texas Aggie 1966

      date with a gerbil

    • Buster

      He certainly has a mess on his hands.

    • Woodward

      A spankin shame

  • G Clifford Prout

    65 and still gettin busy. God bless him.

    • Douglas Parker

      Getting busy with yourself is no major accomplishment.

      • ArlNow Jeopardy!

        Alex Trebek: Douglas Parker completely didn’t catch this premise of G Clifford Prout’s joke.

        Contestant: What is “it is when you’re 65.”?

        • Douglas Parker

          You assume too much. I got it. Point stands.

          • drax

            Well, yeah, but the point is pointless. Nobody said it was a major accomplishment. Of course, when you’re 65, you might change your mind about that.

    • Texas Aggie 1966

      Handy date with rosy palm

  • SomeGuy

    So… a patron at the gym says someone was masturbating, officers slap cuffs on him, and ArlNow gets to publish his picture and pretty much destroy his reputation (and potentially his business/livelihood).

    I don’t condone public masturbation, but I also don’t think this is constructive considering it’s founded on police discretion (which is fallible) and a hearsay accusation (which is also fallible).

    I get that he’ll have his day in court, but then again, so did Richard Jewell…. or did he, before the case was dismissed and AFTER his name was dragged through the mud?

    • ph7

      We are adults, we know that accused is not the same as guilty. Being accused of a crime may tend to put one in a negative light, but that doesn’t mean the accused deserves to have this information shielded from view. If this man was your next door neighbor, and had been accused of lewd public acts, you’d probably be very disturbed if this information was purposefully withheld from the public.

      • drax

        Adults who know accused isn’t the same as guilty?

        You haven’t been around ArlNow for long, have you?

      • SomeGuy

        I’m not sure where I said to withhold it or shield it from view, so maybe you can point me to that. I merely suggested that publicizing it here, where it serves little more purpose than as fodder for snarky commenters and as increased page hits (read: ad revenue) as we revel in another’s folly, isn’t particularly constructive. This is all available on the county police report, so no one’s hiding it. But there’s a difference between making it available (as the county does) and elevating the profile and posting the mugshot so one can increase his page hits and ad rates. And since you alluded to it, no, I don’t care if my neighbor jerks off in a sauna.

        • ph7

          No one checks the county’s police records to learn of criminal activity in their neighborhood. Reporters do, and they publish it, so readers are informed. You’d prefer a policy where newspapers don’t do this, which is to shield the information from public dissemination.

          If you don’t care if this guy beats off in a sauna, then how has reputation been harmed? Others may not share your opinion, who knows? Don’t hide the information; people can drawn their own conclusions. Maybe the vast majority of the people are like you, they don’t care, and this guy has not been harmed in any way, except for the opinion of a few Puritan cranks. Life doesn’t protect anyone from Puritan cranks.

          • drax

            You actually think nobody checks these records directly to see what’s up in their own area?

          • speonjosh

            You’re missing the point and distorting SomeGuy’s viewpoint.

          • SomeGuy

            If you’ve been a denizen of this site for long, you’ll note that often it’s the salacious/comedic stories like this one that get the mugshot and “dig a little deeper” commentary. You’re deluding yourself if you think ArlNow does that extra legwork solely because Mr. Brodbeck thinks he’s furthering the public good. It’s almost purely for the sake of driving traffic, at someone else’s expense of course, and that’s why I don’t find it to be of constructive value. And I see you’re still on the straw man that I want to “shield the information,” but I never wrote that.

        • Let’s Be Fair

          I agree with SomeGuy. At this point these are allegations. We shouldn’t be hearing his name and seeing his picture based on allegations.

          • John Fontain

            “At this point these are allegations. We shouldn’t be hearing his name”

            So you think the entire U.S. criminal system should be changed so that arrest records are not made public? Wow!

          • guest

            No, what SomeGuy and Let’s Be Fair are saying is, even though the records are public, ArlNow should use its editorial discretion not to publish names and photos of people accused of sensational or embarrassing things. It’s not censorship, it’s discretion. Newspapers and blogs can publish what they want to, but they can also decide not to publish something.

          • John Fontain

            So then let’s take the case of the guy who shot 70 and killed 12 at the theater in Aurora, Colorado. Are you saying the press should not have revealed James Holmes’ name? That it would have been a better use of discretion to elect not to? After all, he hasn’t been found guilty and he’s merely accused, right?

          • Bob

            While I’d argue there’s at least a LITTLE difference between killing 12 people and jerking off in a sauna, there’s a very good argument for not publishing the names of people like Holmes as well.

            The whole goal of people like him, Klebold, Harris, et al, is for their names to go down in history.

            There is a very solid argument that has been put forth by experts in the field that you perpetuate more VT’s, Columbines, Newtowns, Auroras, etc with the endless news coverage, mug shots, bios of the killers, etc.

            Don’t mention the names of the killers in the press – at all – and watch the number of these types of killings plummet.

          • Gym Member

            These are NOT allegations.
            I am a member there, too….
            and have seen this man in action.
            But, he’s out now, as in no membership.

      • speonjosh

        Purposefully? Huh? ARLNow has a duty to publish this crap?

        • ph7

          No duty, but a decision to withhold reporting crime news because the reporting might be embarrassing to the accused would almost certainly be purposeful, because it would be at odds with journalistic ethics.

          • Um

            Did you report this story on your news site?

          • guest

            Whoa, journalists have an ethical duty to publish all news that they come across? That is fascinating. I can’t wait to pick up tomorrow’s 7500-page edition of the Washington Post, containing every bit of news they could glean from anywhere in the world!

          • drax

            The point is they have a duty to publish things based only on newsworthiness–NOT to pick and choose based on how shameful a story might be to someone.

          • drax

            Uh-oh, someone knows journalism ethics.

      • Gym member

        This guy is guilty

    • nom de guerre

      I wonder what the disinfecting schedule is for the sauna.

    • Texas Aggie 1966

      Two times accused of choking his chicken and we shouldn’t publish his picture and name? Now he says he was just grooming his gerbil and that’s OK with you? How about you clean the sauna after he gets out!

    • John Fontain

      someguy said: “it’s founded on…a hearsay accusation:

      Sorry, but this is not a case of an arrest based on hearsay. Hearsay evidence would be if party A notified police that he heard from party B that Umansky was masturbating and police arrested Umansky solely based on party A’s report to the police of what party B said.

      In this case, the witness (party B) told police what HE HIMSELF witnessed. No hearsay involved.

      And it’s not the mugshot, but the double-public-masturbation, that’s ruined his reputation. It’s a shame the gym doesn’t have the balls to cancel his membership.

  • t

    His bug eyes remind me of the runaway bride down in Georgia.

    • kalashnikev

      Yeah… except she was hot.

      • ph7

        I think time may have faded your memory.

        • real realist

          No, that’s KEV’s type.

      • Buggyone

        you sure about that bro?

  • nom de guerre

    I wonder if he was “grooming himself” like dogs and cats sometimes do.

  • Cy

    haha, i would have loved to watch this guy stroke away. and i am a straight bro.

    • bro

      Sure you are, bro.

  • ph7

    He’s just working on his fitness.

  • Straight

    Bad enough these pervs hang out in public parks looking for other pervs… now in a gyms… yuck!

  • If I was at that fitness club I would not be happy he is allowed back, arrested twice and has not given him the boot.

  • novasteve

    If he does it a third time, he shoudl be officially renamed to Captain Fappin.

    • Lon

      Your mentor?

  • novasteve

    Did we ever find out who the Ballston naked runner was? Was it schizo german guy?

  • ???

    Confused – “For the second time in as many months” – I am wrong in making the assumption that this implies the “second time” in “two months”? Yet the last time was in December.

  • Mike Honcho

    Evidently grooming your pubes at the gym is a new thing. Most people just shower, and get out of there, but this guy stopped, and spruced up the ole twig and berries. Gotta keep your look fresh.

    • Haircuttery

      Well he is a hair salon owner. its not too far fetched he was grooming the bush.

  • novasteve

    I hope Sam’s Food truck isn’t planning on any sauces in honor of him.

  • Max

    I’m sure he can’t wait for the cumeuppance.

  • Your Mom

    Kinda looks like a creepy version of Bill Parcels in his mugshot.

  • tumblebum

    No mas pantalones

  • Buddy

    Allegations? Nope!
    There have likely been MANY witnesses, who gave a dirty
    look and left the sauna.
    Jerk it? His business,,
    But not in a rather public place.
    Not everyone would have any interest in watching that sleaze.

  • mack

    An unsuccessful attempt at imitating Desmond Bryant’s mug shot. http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1543838-desmond-bryants-mugshot-may-be-worse-than-actual-crime

    Better luck next time. On second thought, hope for everyone’s sake at LA Fitness that there isn’t a next time!

  • LanaDelTacoBell

    I just hope they clean the sauna with a strong enough disinfectant

  • Disgusted

    He shops at the Ft. Myer commissary on Sunday mornings. He’s loud and obnoxious, always promoting his salon. I avoided him before. At least tomorrow morning patrons should be able to shop in peace. Sicko!!!

  • nonamehere

    just signing in………….

  • will dooherson

    Stick to the hard facts. We will have to see if the evidence “stands up” in court! or, maybe they can trasfer this to “small” claims court. (These lights are murder!)

  • dick longfellow

    …………ironic that he faces time in a PENAL institution.


    Saw this guy at the Panera in the Ballston Mall a couple weeks ago; he started “taking care of himself” in the same fashion while staring me down. It was shocking. Glad the gym hasn’t revoked his membership; perverts need exercise too!!! Disgusting.


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