Announcing the 24 Hour Holiday Poem Contest

Columns

by ARLnow.com December 22, 2010 at 4:12 pm 1,880 15 Comments

Update on 12/23 — We have a winner.

When Synetic Theater offered us two free tickets to their family-friendly performance of The Nutcracker — playing in Crystal City through Jan. 16 — we immediately realized that this was a perfect opportunity for a holiday-themed contest.

Since haiku and ugly holiday sweater contests are old hat, here’s what we’re going to do instead:

Compose a poem about Arlington, in the style of a classic holiday song or story. For instance, you might work brown flip flops into Twas the Night Before Christmas.

Submit your masterpiece in the comments section, and be sure to use your real email address so we can tell you how to claim your Nutcracker tickets if you’re the winner.

Please keep your poem short and lighthearted. Mean-spirited or obscene submissions will be removed.

We’ll pick our favorite and announce the champion around this time tomorrow.

Photo courtesy Synetic Theater

TGEoA

Free tickets? Arlnow is on the take!
ND

Preppy the snowman, was a stylish metro boy. With a popped co-llar and some frosted tips, and a j crew sweatervest.

There must have been some magic, in that Queer Eye book we found. for when we placed it in his hands he began to prance around.

Preppy the snowman, had to hurry on his way. but he waved goodbye and said don’t you cry, “I’ll be back in a yacht someday.”
RW

Preppy the snowman is going to be in my head all day now!
Terence

Arlington, Arlington, Arlington rock
Arlington brings with Arlington swing
Fun and excitement and tons of great shops
Arlington, Virginia has pop
Arlington, Arlington, Arlington rock
Arlington’s steals are Arlington’s meals
In Rosslyn, and Ballston, and Virginia Square
Great food everywhere!
What a bright time it’s the right time
To see what we hold dear
Arlington time is the prime time
To tell Floridians they “wish they were here”
Giddy up, metro cars, get me there fast
Don’t even try to stop
I can hear the party and it sounds like a blast
That’s the Arlington, that’s the Arlington,
That’s the Arlington rock!
- jan
  
  Thanks!
- Greg
  
  This is really well done.
- ShirlingtonGuy
  
  Outstanding! I could actually sing this out loud and in tune!
ARLFAN

Love preppy the snowman!
Cherrydale Christmas

The Twelve Days in Arlington

on the first day in Arlington my true love gave to me, a one million dollar lawsuit

on the second day in Arlington my true love gave to me, two change of government petitions

on the third day in Arlington my true love gave to me, three cupcake stores

on the fourth day in Arlington my true love gave to me, four 66 delays

on the fifth days in Arlington my true love gave to me, five Presidential burgers

on the sixth day in Arlington my true love gave to me, six snow plows plowing

on the seventh day in Arlington my true love gave to me, seven Bayou beignets

on the eighth day in Arlington my true love gave to me, eight County Managers

on the ninth day in Arlington my true love gave to me, nine Clarendudes

on the tenth day in Arlington my true love gave to me, ten Zimmy zingers

on the eleventh day in Arlington my true love gave to me, eleven buglers bugling

on the twelfth day in Arlington my true love gave to me, twelve arlnow articles
Rich

Sung to Oh Holy Night

Oh towing guy!
I found the perfect spot,
It is the night I need to drop off a package!
Though I may sin and error by parking here
I’ll only be a minute.
A thrill to know that I only blocked a few cars
For yonder breaks to beat the towin’.

I fall on my knees
Oh to see you lay the hook
Oh why are you towing my car
Oh night 3 days before Christ was born
Oh bye my car
Oh ATM here I come
- mehoo
  
  Awesome.
- TGEoA
  
  winnar
WegBeiDerPost

(Sung to “Winter Wonderland”)

Rent bills rise, are you hustlin’
Orange liiine construction’s bustlin’
A beautiful sight,
If you’re wealthy and white,
Living in a Fro-Yo wonderland

Oh two-two-twooo-oh-one,
There’s so much more to Arling-tuh-on,
Though we’re down at the mouth
We still love Arlington south,
Lacking though our Fro-Yo wonderland

The latest Census says that we’re so wealthy
And we’re all boutiques and brown flip-flops
North says: Ain’t life easy?
South says: No man,
But we’re working on a plan
To get some props

Dontcha know, we’ll conspire
A streetcaaaar’s our desire
We’ll have some fun
Becoming Clarendon
Gettin’ us some Fro-Yo wonderland
Jen

Oh there’s no place like home we call Arlington
for our arts, culture, shopping, yuppie fun.
Get on Glebe Road and find us,
past the Artisphere
yes, your heart is here, you can’t beat Arlington.

I went to Whole Foods market yesterday,
to find a nice turkey
that was ovo-lacto-vegan and range-free
but my paycheck couldn’t take it,
so I went to Mickey D

(Hear those Metro cars click-clacking …
Crap, the Orange Line’s single-tracking!)

But there’s no place like dear, P.C. Arlington
No matter what race or creed you own,
An oasis of good sense
in a big red state,
whether gay or straight, you’re home in Arlington.
Kevin

I’m dreaming of an Arlington Christmas
just like the ones back in the day
with the freeways bustling
commuters hustling
I look out my window and pray

I’m hoping I’ll get out early
so I can go shopping at the mall
the stores are so pretty at Pentagon City
I haven’t yet bought any gifts at all.

Every year I say it clear
the stores here are the best
From Ballston down to Clarendon town
One good day and I can rest

But then comes Christmas eve
and I’m still harried
with so much work left to be done

May your days be merry and fun
Holy crap–war in Asia, gotta run…

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